Oh, look, someone chewed me out!

When ignorant little young people write to me and chew me out, I’m going to post their letters here on this blog, with my comments. Here is an e-mail I just received, reproduced exactly:

Shame on you! {Hello to you, too!}
I understand that we all have the right of believing what we like best, some poor souls for instance believe in themselves. {? And “believing in yourself” is bad?} What you bring about however is horrifying. Not only a being who draws “life energy” isn’t a vampire, but a necrospectre, {a what????} you also eliminate the tangible mean of the blood and substitute it with prana energy to make the imposture even less detectable and thus more easily appealing. {Which is exactly what I tried -not- to do.} Furthermore the personality kinds you are describing here are best fit for the definitions of manic disorder and bipolar. {Not at all, as I explain more clearly in “Real Vampires Revisited.” Are you a mental health professional and qualified to diagnose, Enyl?} If vampire existed and if I were one of them I’d certainly like to pay you a little visit. {Ooooh, a threat! What a friendly guy!} How sexist must you be. There is, all throughout your essay, the feeling that a vampire can only be female. I though of vampires, as I did of angels and demons, that they weren’t sexual beings. {Another asshole who thinks vampires are all impotent like Anne Rice’s. Folklore vampires are -totally- sexual! Normally, I refer people who ask about the feminine pronouns question to “Real Vampires Revisited,” but this guy is just plain hostile–and seems to have trouble with English.}
In any event, let me conclude by saying that your gain must be egotistical here, {he writes an e-mail like this to a total stranger, and he says -I’m- egotistical?} mabe even monetary, {Oh? he paid to read my article?} but mostly you are drawing a kind of attention to yourself that will last. {Gods, I hope so!} The real vampire is you {At least he gets that one right} and in that you are really cursed. {Wow. And I just thought I was having a bad day.}
yours truly, {and sincerely to you, sugarlips}

“Real Vampires” was written twenty years ago and has been online for ten years. Congratulations, Enyl, on finally locating it. Now go read a book on common courtesy, and brush up on basic vampire folklore, because you don’t have the first clue what you’re talking about. Only an obnoxious little shit dashes off a rude e-mail like that to someone who has only authored an article. I’m tired of hearing from people like you. Bother me again and I’ll publish your e-mail address.

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