"It's so awful and sad...to belong to a race no sane person believes in."
Born to be conduits for power
Imagine that you are a person who became aware, at a very early age, that somehow you were different from everyone else. You seemed to feel other people's emotions, and you didn't know why. You saw things that other people didn't see, and learned at an early age to conceal your reactions because others would make fun of you (or you'd get sent to talk to a therapist). When you were around groups of people, you felt that you were soaking up their feelings and couldn't control it. You'd burst into tears, or become enraged, or become depressed and have to leave and go off by yourself. You'd spend long periods of time alone and then find yourself craving the company of others.
People called you "unpredictable." Sometimes you felt as though you were literally starving to death, but you couldn't understand what it was you needed. Food didn't make you feel less starved, and sometimes it didn't taste right to you. Your dreams frightened you sometimes, because they were so real. You might have been afraid of the dark, because things came to you and talked to you when it was dark.
Strange things happened around you sometimes. You might make watches stop, electrical devices overload, computers go haywire, lightbulbs burn out, alarm systems go off, or cars break down. When you were upset, people might have accidents around you--usually you felt bad about that. You had no one to share your experiences and fears with. If you tried, people laughed at you, or called you evil, or harassed and bullied you. You may have found forms of communion that helped ease your discomfort, such as certain natural settings, certain places, animals, weather phenomena, or controlled interactions with human beings--like performing onstage or teaching. But you couldn't find anything that really described what life was like for you. Depending on what religion you were raised in, you might have thought of yourself as a freak, possibly "possessed" by something, or evil. You felt that you spent a lot of energy trying not to see and feel the "things" that were trying to get your attention. A lot of the time you thought, "if I could just get what I really need, I'd be okay. I need something--and I'm starving because I don't have it."
You're something that has been part of the human world since the beginning of time, and that is now trivialized, disregarded, and so completely dismissed by Western culture that there's no longer even a name for you. In other times and places you would have been a seer, a shaman, a mage, a medicine person, a priest (in a non-Christian sense) a prophet or a healer. Now, there's no role for you to play, and no validation for the abilities and gifts that you were born with.
I'm calling such individuals Energy Mediums because it's the most descriptive term I can think of that doesn't have other, misleading baggage attached to it. The word "medium" has a long and respectable history as a term for people with certain psychic gifts. The television show has reclaimed it somewhat from the rather dismal associations with fraud and parody it had acquired, but it's still misunderstood. Among the technical meanings of the word, "medium" are:
An intervening substance through which something else is transmitted or carried on; An agency by which something is accomplished, conveyed, or transferred; A specific kind of artistic technique or means of expression as determined by the materials used or the creative methods involved.
So, a "medium" is a conduit or carrier (in this case, for power), the agency for wielding and controlling that power, and the means of expressing that power in the material world in a calculated and disciplined way. An "Energy Medium" is a human being with an inborn ability to influence, channel, manipulate, and transform all types of "energy," but in particular biological and etheric energy, for either good or ill. He or she has abilities in this area that exceed that of other humans.
Energy Mediums are capable, when fully developed, of astral travel, psychic/spiritual healing (of both the physical body and the etheric ones), communication with other planes of being and other entities (including the dead and non-human, non-physical entities), and of creating dramatic physical phenomena such as telekinesis. Unlike pure psychics (who sometimes were called "mental mediums"), Energy Mediums are capable of producing measurable, physical results in the material world. They aren't restricted to channeling information alone.
There are still cultures in the world in which Energy Mediums are recognized, validated, and trained, usually for leadership roles in indigenous or syncretistic religions like Candomblé or Voudoun. But in Western Culture there is no role for the dynamic talents of Energy Mediums. Psychics are just barely tolerated in quiet niches such as clergy, counselors, stress-relief instructors and so on. Energy Mediums, when they're functioning well, produce phenomena that is dramatic, unpredictable, and difficult to control.
This has left Energy Mediums in a very difficult position. Without conscious acknowledgement of their inner natures, external validation, or training, they're at a loss. Ordinary people, by comparison, are "energy rocks." Their energy systems are tightly integrated and defended to remain balanced amid the ceaseless flow of the natural power currents that make up the material and etheric worlds. But Energy Mediums are wide open to these tides. Without training, they're constantly buffeted and pulled off balance. For them, life is like standing out on a vast empty moor in the middle of raging storm--all of the time.
In order to maintain even a semblence of balance, they have to exert tremendous subconscious and supra-conscious attention, energy and effort, and this is the cause of the their mood swings, fatigue, occasional euphoria, and their frequent feeling of being drained and hungry--because they're exhausting themselves just staying in one place. From time to time the "energy winds" die down, and the sense of sheer relief that an Energy Medium experiences at those moments gives him or her a sense of unreasonable euphoria and strength. It would make perfect sense to anyone who could step back and see what was going on, but Energy Mediums often can't do this, because they have no reference to use.
It seems that more Energy Mediums than usual have been born during the past thirty years or so. I believe there are reasons for this, related to approaching earth changes, but time will prove whether or not my intuitions are accurate. In the meantime, the Energy Mediums are here, and those born in the United States have tended to fall into a troublesome social vacuum. During the 1980's, it appeared for a while that the Pagan movement might succeed in creating a foundation for the Energy Mediums and other, similarly gifted souls who were being born. Pagan groups were establishing themselves as legal churches, Pagans were getting serious clergy training, and some real depth was starting to evolve. Some groups were exploring shamanic and other types of highly physicalized, challenging techniques.
But for some reason, this short-circuited in the mid-1990's. The Pagan movement fell into disarray, with many groups disbanding, large networks splintering, and factions hiving off into realms like "white light Wicca," BDSM, or rigid reconstructions of specific ethnic traditions. Much of the Pagan community moved onto the Internet, and the Internet itself was dividing and subdividing communities of all kinds, as it made the process of splintering into smaller and smaller special interest cliques so easy to do. It's no mystery at all, and I'm sure, no coincidence, that as the Pagan movement receded, the Psivamp Revolution within the Vampire Community exploded.
There's a lot about the vampire mystique to attract Energy Mediums, after all. They have no other identity, so they truly are "lost boys and girls" in our society. The "Psivamp" paradigm gave them a convenient explanation for their symptoms, and what they wanted so desperately, external validation that they were experiencing something real. It also allowed them to identify with all the empowering elements of the Modern Vampire Myth, like beauty, "coolness," and a community of "special" others. On a less positive note, identifying as a "Psivamp" allowed an Energy Medium to enjoy the self-justification of a victim identity--a wounded person with special needs who deserved understanding, compassion and help. Given how badly life and other people have frequently treated Energy Mediums as they matured, that's an intoxicating role to be able to play.
But Energy Mediums have nothing to do with vampirism. Vampires drink blood--that is their defining characteristic. Energy Mediums neither need blood like Sanguinarians, nor have the ability to utilize the power in blood like True Vampires. As a rule, they're revolted by the very idea of tasting a drop of it.
But Energy Mediums are crippled by the "Psivamp" identity. It's not possible to remotely "feed on energy" in the sense that "Psivamps" claim, although with their capabilities for affecting and influencing energy systems , Energy Mediums can fool themselves that they're doing so for quite a long time. Instead of developing their real gifts, they waste huge amounts of attention and focus on "learning to psi-feed," or doing things that they believe are "psi-feeding." They can't really be blamed for this. Our culture as a whole, and, as far as I'm concerned, the Pagan Community in particular, has failed Energy Mediums--what else were they supposed to do? Where else could they go?
It's a credit to their inner wisdom that many Energy Mediums who have self-identified as "Psivamps" still seem to have excellent instincts for what they need to be doing with their abilities. I have been impressed with the depth and quality of a great deal of the basic psychic training advice given in the best "psychic vampire" websites and books, especially the House Kheperu site and Michelle Belanger's books. If the Energy Mediums can abandon their notions of "psi-feeding" and completely apply themselves to their true inner gifts, they have a tremendous amount to offer the world.
With the caveat that readers should disregard the information on "psi-feeding," the following websites and books may be helpful:
The Psychic Vampire Codex by Michelle Belanger
The Ethical Psychic Vampire by Raven Kaldera
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